Defining our lives

What defines you? What qualities, actions, or beliefs, define the person that you are or hope to be? These questions were given to me by one of my mentors. When she first posed them I assumed I had the answers? I was in my mid-thirties and felt certain that I knew exactly who I was. But as I sat down to write out my answers I quickly realized the deeper complexities of the question; No person is easily defined. And as a survivor of abuse the quandary becomes even more complicated. Am I defined by my courage? Am I defined by my fear? Is it my willingness to grow beyond the labels of my experience that defines me or my ability to embrace those labels and bring new meaning to them, that best demonstrates the women that I am...

The list can go on forever. Today, I find that what defines me most is my ability to redefine myself, my decision not to be defined by my abuse, or the journey it has brought into my life. Today I am defined by my decision to give voice to my truth, my needs, and my hopes for the future. Today I find strength and focus in my willingness to use my voice in spite of my fear and my childhood mandates to be silent.

So, What defines you? What defines the person you are or hope to be? What qualities bring strength and focus to your life? Find some time this week to sit with these questions and see what comes up. Be wiling to follow them wherever they led you.

The power of story

Currently I am creating a workshop for the Women of Wisdom Conference on February 16th,www.womenofwisdom.org. The title of my presentation is "Reclaiming our sacred stories" and it will focus on the transformative power of words. The work is exciting and has rekindled my faith in the power of story to heal. Each survivor has a running story about who she is. If we are lucky our story tells of our bravery, our inner beauty, and our power to bring a unique vision into the world. Unfortunately, most of us are not blessed with wonderful stories about who we are or what we can accomplish. More often then not we tell ourselves stories of limitation and lack. We focus on what is missing instead of what is possible and on where we are broken instead of how our vulnerability has made us strong. The amazing truth is, that we are the storytellers. We are the sacred weaver that gives birth to new possibilities.

This week take some time in your journal to write about the story within you. First write about the story as it is. What do you tell yourself about what is possible for your life? What strengths can you develop? What limitations do you nurture? What weaknesses do you embrace and nourish? This is not a time for judgments. Simply write your story as you see it. When you have finished read it. Notice the places you would like to change. Consider transforming the story. What changes will you make? As the heroine in the story rewrite her. Where she is weak make her strong, where she is silent give her voice, and where she is alone surround her with powerful inner guides.When you are finished take a deep breath, smile, and rejoice in the power of story.

Fresh Starts

I love new beginnings, fresh starts, and the beauty of a blank page. Usually this time of year I set goals and make resolutions for the upcoming year. But this year feels a little different. This year I find myself uninterested in resolutions and goals. I look out into the vast unknown and feel a sense of openness and freedom that feels more at home in the world of questions then goals. What will challenge me this year? What do I need to create space for? What do I need to create? What scares me? What do I need to feel safe and secure? Curiosity has a hold on me this year. So instead of new years resolutions, goals, and affirmations; this year I am going to write down the big questions of my life. I will sit down with a pot of steaming tea and a new blank journal, and for one hour of uninterrupted time I will capture the questions that I want to explore this year. I won't worry about the answers just yet. I trust there will be time for that later. Lots of time, 364 wonderful days to be exact.